Prior to our move to Alaska one question started to keep me up at night. What if I created a blog called “Poking the Bear” only to be killed by a bear? That would be so embarrassing. Such a violent death is a hard enough without it being ironic too.
The idea of bears and being ill prepared for Alaskan wildlife overall concerned me. I didn’t want to overthink it, but I didn’t want to under think it. My mind kept returning to Walter Herzog’s disturbing but fascinating documentary, “The Grissly Man.”
We were already under contract on a house outside the town of Soldotna on the Kenai Peninsula. The house was surrounded by forest and spectacular lake views according to its on-line photos; we bought it without seeing it in person because when it comes to huge purchases we are savvy like that.
Turns out those photos weren’t a lie, the views from our house are amazing, this is the view heading out the front door this morning.
Given our new home’s more remote location we could cross paths with wildlife at any time, and I probably wasn’t going to don bear bells and a hip holster with bear spray every time I went to unload the groceries.
So, I started finding myself up in the middle of the night searching Youtube on all things related to bear attacks, which is quite the rabbit hole as one might expect.
Here is a short list of what I found out.
#1 – DO NOT SURPRISE A BEAR
Wear bear bells, talk loudly, and try to hike in groups. You never want to surprise a bear. It is mentioned in this particular video that if you do surprise a bear, “you should walk backwards slowly, but don’t trip.”
DON’T trip? Might need to sharpie that piece of advice on my arm so I don’t forget.
#2 – DON’T TURN AND RUN
You can’t outrun a bear. Don’t try as you will just incite the bear’s predatory instincts.
I have to admit, as someone who can almost run a mile in under three hours (not including a wine & cheese break) I’m relieved that “run” isn’t the answer. However, it did work for my friend Allison!
See my post “My Friend Outran a Bear.”
#3 – KNOW YOUR BEAR
I only looked up the most common bears found in our area of the state. That would be the black bear and the brown bear, or grizzly.
1. If it is a BLACK bear you make yourself look as big as in, “You don’t want to mess with this!” You try to be intimidating, you stand your ground, and you fight if he attacks.
2. If it’s a BROWN bear you make yourself look small, as in “I’m a non-threatening meatless little thing, pay me no mind.” If a brown bear attacks, you cover your head and play dead which sounds, well that sounds impossible.
https://www.themanual.com/outdoors/how-to-survive-a-bear-attack/
#4 – ALWAYS CARRY BEAR SPRAY. OR A GUN.
When it came to gathering information on bear attacks, I also did a bit of research off-line which felt sexy and rebellious. When we visited and just after we moved to Alaska I asked many locals their personal take on survival in bear country. The majority responded with absolute conviction that carrying a gun is the only valid protection.
I had hoped tackling my fear of bears wasn’t dependent on tackling my fear of guns but I plan to go ahead and face both fears, with caution.
Gameplan:
1. Go on a bear viewing tour in Katmai National Park. I already have a cabin booked at the famous Brooks Lodge for such a thing next summer.
2. Learn how to shoot a gun. The plan is for the kids to take the course as well.
On the second point, I figure if we are moving to an area of the country where the majority of homeowners are also gun owners, my kids should at least know to treat and handle a gun. How as their mother I can go from encouraging them to join the March for Our Lives holding homemade signs that challenge the NRA to forcing them onto a shooting range is something I’ll have to reconcile later. But not now. Now I’m going to curl up in fetal position and nap.